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GOOD TASTE IN FRIENDS

Members of Single Gourmet's local chapter say their events
are less about dating, more about socializing

When Ed Bamberger started a Single Gourmet chapter in
Dallas-Fort Worth just over a year ago, he knew he had his arms around something special. You might say it was the perfect match.

"I've always been passionate about food and cooking," he says. But a love of food begs to be shared. Then he found himself back on the dating scene following a divorce and realized he wasn't alone in wanting an adult-friendly venue for meeting people. He wanted someplace safe, where the common denominator was more social than a sport or hobby and less pressured than a dating service.

"A lot of people are coming out of long marriages, long relationships," he says. "Some are widowed." Suddenly, they are thrown from their familiar couples terrain into a landscape unfamiliar and alien. They aren't necessarily looking for a soul mate, he says, but they are interested in companionship.

"They're scared to death, and I can't blame them," he says. "It's hard coming out as a middle-aged person into a singles environment. It was exactly that way with me, too."

Taffi Stevenson chats with Steve Abrey before a recent dinner
at Bread Winners hosted by Single Gourmet Dallas-Fort Worth.

RELATIONSHIPS

His best friend in Atlanta had raved about Single Gourmet, a nationwide organization started in 1978 in New York City that bridges the singles gap with fine dining. But there was no chapter in North Texas.

Several months later, when Mr. Bamberger's free-lance writing business began to tank along with the economy, his friend brought up Single Gourmet again: "He said, 'You ought to start a chapter in Dallas-Fort Worth.'"

And Mr. Bamberger began to think: Why not?

"I went to 16 different singles groups within the Metroplex, and I didn't like any of them," he says. "I figured out that I could easily do better."

Six months later, in January 2002, Single Gourmet Dallas-Fort Worth held its kick-off party at Nana. To Mr. Bamberger's surprise, more than 300 people attended and dozens of others had to be turned away. Today, membership in Single Gourmet Dallas-Fort Worth has topped 500. Members are single professionals in their 30s to 60s, Mr. Bamberger says, and they come from as far away as Wichita Falls and Louisiana to attend events. Last month, he says, the group's Web site had 80,000 hits.

What sets the group apart, members say, is its relaxed, no-pressure attitude - and, almost paradoxically, Mr. Bamberger's maniacal attention to detail that drives him to devote 70 hours a week to his duties as executive director.

"In the beginning, it was 80 or 90 hours a week," he says. "But I don't care. I love it."

"It's not like a real 'singles' group," says Sue Aikman, a meeting planner who lives in Las Colinas and found the group through its Web site. "It's not like everyone is trying to meet somebody. The majority are like me - single and want to go out to dinner. It's more like a bunch of people who happen to be single going out to dinner vs. single people trying to meet someone."

Single Gourmet Dallas-Fort Worth holds four to five events a month, Mr. Bamberger says, including cocktail socials, wine tastings, sit-down dinners and cooking classes. Venues range from Lavendou and il Sole to the Art Institute of Dallas for cooking classes and the Angelika for dinner and a movie.

"For me, I look at it as an opportunity to go to a restaurant I wouldn't go to by myself," says Judy Lynch, a beverage distributor who drives from Sulphur Springs to attend events. "I go and have a wonderful meal and great conversation. We talk about everything from the war to where our next trip is to our favorite restaurant and what we like to cook."

The group recently took over York Street for an entire evening with a dinner that would make a critic swoon.

The menu led off with a salad of poached diver scallops with blood orange, avocado and endive paired with Gagliardo Favorita Fallegro wine from the Piedmont in Italy. This was followed by crown roast of Niman pork with macaroni and blue cheese, escarole, baby Chioggia beets and carrots - all paired with a California Liberty School syrah. After a brie course, the evening concluded with malted milk chocolate semi-freddo and Elysium black
muscat dessert wine.

Single Gourmet Dallas-Fort Worth offers four to five outings a month where members
such as Judy Lynch of Sulphur Springs can mingle and meet new friends.

It was, Mr. Bamberger says, one of the group's more expensive nights out, topping $100 per person. But no one complained, and there was just one no-show, due to illness. Most events cost between $20 and $70, which is in addition to the $125 annual membership fee.

"I want people to have an exceptional culinary experience at my events," Mr. Bamberger says. "'Exceptional' is the word I want to use." His love of food and cooking, which includes studies at The Culinary Institute of America in Hyde Park, N.Y, and in France and Italy, was half of the equation; a background in corporate communications was the other.

"I ran business shows, so I know how to plan events," he says. "I know food. I know how to work with a chef to plan a menu."

He also spent three months researching the Single Gourmet concept before signing on, talking with everyone who owned a chapter and writing a 25-page business plan.

"Ed is an extremely passionate person," says Steve Abrey, manager for a telecommunications company who lives in Farmers Branch and found out about the organization through a friend. "He's committed to fine dining and this organization. He works relentless hours. I have literally gotten e-mails that have been time-stamped at 3, 4, 5 in the morning."

Mr. Bamberger's need to ensure that everyone feels personally included and has a good time also compels him to create seating charts for sit-down events, a process he says takes three to five hours, and place hand-lettered name cards at each setting.

"He sets up people with the same interests at the same tables," says Nick Mayrath, a Dallas CPA who read about. the group in the Dallas Business Journal. "He's not matchmaking. He's saying, 'OK, these people might enjoy visiting with each other.'"

And if a match happens, well, that's OK, too.

Mr. Bamberger says he hasn't met the special someone whom he would someday like in his life. But it's clear he's found his match. "I want to have read at my eulogy - I'm serious - that I made a difference in singles' lives in Dallas-Fort Worth."

He's probably already planning the menu for that event.

Kim Pierce is a Dallas free-lance writer.